Quiet Contemplation
by ambiencealikw
Summary: Non-pairing: Theodore Nott often wondered what his life would have been like had he never met Draco Malfoy.


Theodore Nott often wondered what his life would have been like had he never met Draco Malfoy. Since childhood, they had been shoved together at every opportunity by their parents, and though Theo had preferred Draco's companionship over that of simpering girls such as Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass, and brutish boys the likes of Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe, it was only by a small margin. Draco Malfoy was a spoiled, snooty brat who put on more airs and graces than anyone he had ever met. The only passably bearable thing about Draco was that he was content to leave Theo alone for the most part.

Being an only child, Theo relished quiet pursuits such as reading and potions and watching people. He was often remarked upon as being an odd child by the adults of his father's acquaintance, but as his father had once advised him, if people underestimated him, then that was an advantage he could use against them later.

Draco, on the other hand, delighted in the spotlight, and enjoyed the attention lavished upon him by his peers, and though he often declared that he liked Theo best, Draco was most often found surrounded by sycophants. There were no hidden depths to Draco. This was a boy whose every emotion was clear on his face.

Still, there were many opportunities for the two boys to be alone, most commonly when their fathers met for business purposes. (They later learnt that it was for darker purposes, but that was by the by.) On such an occasion, Theo and Draco stood in Draco's room in front of the mirror, studying their reflections. Draco had claimed that he was obviously the more attractive of the two, and Theo, in a rare fit of stubbornness, had declared this to be poppycock.

Theo had a thin face, with small brown eyes and wild, dark brown hair. Draco's eyes were a clear grey, and his silvery blonde hair was straight and ordered. Theo was taller than Draco (something the other boy secretly despised) though not quite as thin. His skin was tanned from wandering around outside looking for potions ingredients, and the contrast to Draco's light complexion was noticeable. It was difficult to judge which was more attractive; the thin, pale blonde boy with the quick smile and even quicker temper, or the tall, tanned, wild looking boy, quiet and solid with hidden intellect.

After a time, Draco wrinkled his nose and declared it too close to tell. A decision was immediately made to postpone the competition for when they were older. Both egos intact, they ran outside to the garden and chased the albino peacocks around until they were exhausted (and the birds were sufficiently cowed.)

As they grew older, their friendship remained firm, though Theo still disliked the company of Draco's other friends. It became a rare sight to see just the two of them together, and more and more common to see Draco standing at the head of a group, regaling them with stories as they laughed and sneered at the appropriate moments, and Theo off to one side, most commonly leaning against a wall, an observer.

He came to know them without ever really speaking a word to them.

Pansy was one of those girls who could not be ignored. Beautiful and vain and sharp, nothing she did was without purpose. Her sole ambition was to marry into one of the wealthier pureblood families, and her eye was firmly fixed on Draco Malfoy. She laughed the loudest and the longest, had her withering glare with accompanying sneer perfected, and was the first to insult those she considered inferior. Completely caught up in her own importance, Pansy saw little beyond her immediate circle.

Crabbe and Goyle were the strong and silent types. Little interested them beyond food and hitting things, opportunities for both were gladly provided by Draco in exchange for protection. Draco liked the idea of having lackeys as he thought it made him seem important. Theo wondered why he bothered, as in his opinion, the two hulking, beady eyed boys just made Draco look small and weak.

Blaise was clever and handsome, often flirting with the girls of their clique. He took after his mother in this regard, who was on her seventh or eighth husband (even Theo had lost count.) Draco saw him as somewhat of a rival, capable of eclipsing his position within their group, and so there were often underhand insults exchanged between the two. Draco saw it as putting Blaise in his place, while the other boy just considered it an amusing game. No one took themselves as seriously as Draco did.

There were a few others; Daphne and her younger sister Astoria, both were blonde, vain and incredibly boring. Most of their Slytherin cunning was wasted on getting rich boyfriends. Tracey was a half-blood, and so was accepted only begrudgingly into their group. She was incredibly ambitious, inherently sarcastic, and used her looks as a weapon. Of all the girls, Theo probably tolerated her best, though she was still just as determined to climb the social ladder as the others. At least she was capable of upholding a conversation that did not revolve around clothes or boys.

The majority of them were so caught up in themselves that they barely even noticed Theo, let alone analysed his personality to the point that they could use their knowledge of him as a weapon. Did they not realise that he could play them all like a fiddle? A carefully considered word here and there was all Theo needed to divert any one of the group, and always they listened to him, and always they did exactly as he had expected. He would retreat again and watch events play out exactly as they had happened in his head and wonder if all were so gullible or if it was just his friends. Theo was careful to do this only rarely, so as not to draw too much attention to himself.

When they were both about thirteen, Theo and Draco had what Theo later considered the most surprising and important conversation of their respective lives. They were in the Malfoys garden. Draco sat up against a tree, picking flowers and tearing them to pieces, littering the ground around him with bruised, purple petals. Theo lay on his back, his arms crossed behind his head as he watched puffy white clouds drift across the sky.

'Theo,' Draco said suddenly, brushing his hands clean against his pants. Theo cocked his head towards him, one eyebrow raised in question (this ability infuriated Draco, and he spent hours trying to perfect the same action in the mirror.) Draco frowned and avoided his friends gaze.

It took a while for the blonde to summon his courage, but Theo waited, knowing that if it was important then Draco would speak up eventually. Finding his silence reassuring, Draco continued.

'Do you think I'm a bad person?'

Theo rolled onto his stomach, looking into the anxious face of his best friend. Draco was clearly worried about this, and so Theo took his time considering every angle.

On the one hand, Draco was inherently selfish. He wanted the best of everything; food, clothes, broom, friends. If it wasn't expensive then it wasn't worth having. He was often cruel to his friends, and vicious to those he considered beneath him.

Some of the insults he had hurled at the Gryffindors had completely crossed the line, the most notable being 'mudblood,' a horrible word he had parroted from his father. Theo knew that most if his insults directed at the Gryffindor trio stemmed from embarrassment and hurt, as Harry had declined his friendship for those Draco considered inferior.

Draco revelled in having power over others, friend or foe, and believed this was his due as a Malfoy. Still, while these things made him a bit of a brat, they didn't necessarily point to him being a bad person.

However, Draco was capable of great loyalty, particularly towards his mother, and with Theo as well. The others in their clique thought Theo strange, and it was only through Draco's influence that he was accepted.

Another positive aspect of his personality was the delight he took in surprising others with gifts. While some might see that as him buying his friends, Theo knew that Draco enjoyed giving presents and making his friends smile. Not many people knew that Draco Malfoy had a generous spirit.

Less important was Draco's charm, though it was still a part of him. When he wanted to, he could be incredibly polite and witty. Theo knew that good manners had been hammered into Draco by his mother for many years, and his execution of them could be flawless. He knew who was who in the political and pureblood spheres of wizarding society (though they were for the most part one and the same) and could even name their partners and children. Theo knew that Draco Malfoy would be someone very important one day.

Draco was also very gifted not only at many intricate forms of magic, but also at Quidditch, one of the few forums in which Draco showed focus and determination. One of the reasons that Draco was so popular was literally because there were few things he didn't excel at.

Theo considered why Draco would have asked him this question. Draco rarely doubted himself and for him to be having such an existential crisis now meant that something serious must have happened.

He considered the conversations he had been overhearing lately as he hid around the corner from his father's office. There had been many a late visitor at the Nott Manor, and Theo had been trying to get to the bottom of it for a while now. Perhaps Draco knew more about this situation than Theo did, and this was what had prompted his fears.

'Draco,' Theo said seriously, waiting until his friend looked back at him before continuing. 'I do not think that you are a bad person.' Draco's shoulders sagged in relief, and he gave Theo a heart-felt smile.

'However, I do think that something bad is going to happen, and soon too, almost definitely this year,' Theo said. Draco's expression turned serious, and he nodded his agreement. 'Tell me what you know,' Theo commanded. Normally he allowed Draco to lead, but they both knew that Theo was the better strategist. Now he needed all the pieces in order to decide their way forward.

His friend told him of the meetings occurring regularly at Malfoy Manor. The names he mentioned made Theo still. Goyle, Crabbe, Macnair, Avery, Carrow, Rookwood, Lestrange, and of course both of their fathers, all were suspected Death Eaters, an organisation of elitists that had fought under the rule of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. That they were gathering could only mean one thing.

Draco's fear had probably been caused by his father, who would probably be trying to groom Draco to join the Death Eaters. In the last war, they had done horrible, unmentionable things, and the idea of Draco following in his father's footsteps was something that Theo could not allow to happen.

They made their plans and stuck to them, and every time there was a slight deviation, Theo was the first one Draco turned to. He was determined to use every ounce of his intellect to keep his friend alive (and later, he reflected, sane) through these dark times.

When Draco was forced to take the Dark Mark, Theo sat with him all night, making soothing noises as Draco clung to him and sobbed. After that night, Draco had changed completely; withdrawing more and more into himself as he contemplated the horrendous things he might have to do to keep his family safe. All the while, Theo was there, a voice of reason and hope, reminding him that there would be a life after this was over.

Theo sees little of the Battle of Hogwarts, being ushered out of the school after Potter's stand against Headmaster Snape. It is not until later, when an owl summons him to Malfoy Manor that he discovers that all three of the Malfoys had survived. He also learns that his father was killed in the battle, and so he is now the sole heir of the Nott fortune. Theo is not sure how he feels about this. There had always been tension between him and his father, a man of few words and brutal punishments, Theo had thought him a coward and a drunk. Still, his mind is already moving forwards, considering the next step.

Draco looks at Theo, and his face is drawn and sallow as he contemplates what life there can be left for his disgraced family, Theo hopes that he is happy in the knowledge that at least they all survived. Though things would be difficult from now on, they would stand by each other as they always had.

In the end, he is glad to have known Draco Malfoy, because he could not imagine life without his best friend.


End file.
